These two words are undoubtedly my two least favorite words in the English language. Conversely, they are probably the boys two most favorite words in the English language, next to "mommmmmyyyyyyy."
Case in point:
Me: "Let's change your diaper."
Insert name of twin: "NO!"
Me: "Well, given that the smell eminating from your nether region is enough to take down Somali pirates off the coast of Africa, it's probably about that time."
Insert name of twin: "NO!"
Me: Let's try this from a different angle, "Would you like to eat worms dipped in oatmeal?"
Insert name of twin: "NO!"
Me: "How about some licorice and ice cream for breakfast?"
Insert name of twin: "NO!"
O.k., I get it. Apparently ice cream for breakfast is not on your agenda today which is probably a good thing. However, fighting with your brother over Scrabble pieces and which area rug to pull up today is. As evidenced by the reverberating, "MINE!" echoing throughout my house from dawn to dusk.
Please no.
Dear Lord in Heaven, please don't let this be a sign of things to come.
Phineas and Ferb: The Tat of Choice
Why not? If I was three and planned on tattooing my ENTIRE body, who else would I pick?
About Me
Let's see...sometimes I feel like the "accidental mom." Don't get me wrong, we planned for this, but I often find myself wondering throughout any given day, "how did I get here?"
Bookworm
Sadly, not the type of worm my kids are calling me to look at on a daily basis.
The Real Deal
Yes everyone, this is more in line with how my twins think. I'll let you make the connection.
Corn: A lesson in every parent's worst nightmare.
I usually go red.
It tends to get interesting when one tries the following combination: half a glass of wine, Paul Simon's Graceland album, kid and parent family room dance parties. The only snafoo occurs when the Ipod shuffle brings up old Busta' Rhymes classics. Try explaining some of those lyrics to a five year old. It's called who can race to the forward button on the ipod faster, mommy or daddy?
2 out of 5 days a week isn't bad is it?
They say that Perdue uses all white meat, so that's my justification. Also, I make my kids eat 4 baby carrots a day. At the very least they'll have 20/20 vision when they get their medical reports.
This therapy book gets 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon
Sorry, kids, I'm doing my best, please, please, please, be normal in spite of me.
Public Library
Notice the distinct pink, purple and green swirly tights, on a I am sure, quiet, demure library patron.
Book of the Day
Honestly, I haven't read this, but it gets 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon, so it might be worth a try. If you read it, let me know what you think.
The Evidence
No, I am not making this stuff up, yes, I may exaggerate, but here is a visual of the basis of truth and bravery before your very eyes...
Mr. Duct - tape head: In all of his well - deserved glory.
Book of the Day
In case anyone was wondering, three-hooved mammals also have meltdowns that lead to public humiliation for mama llamas. By the way, I highly reccomend this book, it will make you laugh.
Matthew dispensing his advice to Jesus
Even Matthew knew enough not to judge mothers in public settings.
In lieu of song of the day, I will substitute my pick with a book of the day.
Everyone Poops, by Taro Gomi. Yes, you too can share in the pleasure of excrement.
Apparently, you can buy poop in a bottle. After all, who wouldn't??
Pretty as a picture
The Sharpie
A rainbow of attraction to both parents and children.
What a Sharpie can do
This is what my son would look like if I had allowed him to continue with the Sharpie.
The Department of Youth and Family Services: Stock photo from their website
Yes, this is the organization that may or may not be called if the wrong person heard a typical phone conversation in my household.
The challenge awaits you...
Yes, admit it ladies, even the image excites you more than the new tooth your toddler most recently let you know about with the latest round of drool that you stepped in, in your socks last week.
Quote of the Day
"Have no fear, little fish," Said the Cat in the Hat. "These Things are good Things." And he gave them a pat.
Walking the Tightrope of Life
As if my life wasn't crazy enough, I decided to add an extra punch of bizarre by attempting to climb across a tightrope approximately 50 ft. off of the ground.
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