A Typical Telephone Conversation

I have one question. If you are a parent, can you maintain a phone conversation for more than say, oh, 1-3 minutes without saying, "Can you hold on for a sec?" while at the same time either pressing the mute button or covering the mouthpiece and screaming, "MOMMY IS ON THE PHONE, KNOCK IT OFF!!!"
I apparently cannot accomplish this task. My husband and I regularly tell each other that we should record our phone conversations for posterity because they usually go something like this...

Husband: "Hey hon, just checkin' in. How's your day going?"
Me: "Good, I was able to...HEY, STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER WITH THAT CAR...get some milk at the grocery store because ...I SAID KNOCK IT OFF! WHAT PART OF MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT DID YOU NOT HEAR???...we went through 3 gallons in only 4 days and we are running low...Hey, give that back to him, I SAID, GIVE IT...1-2-DO YOU WANT TO SIT IN TIME OUT? BECAUSE IF I GET TO 3 YOU ARE SITTING IN TIME OUT!...I'm sorry, what was I saying? Hold on a minute, I quickly cover the mouthpiece, because after all it is my husband and if he hears me going on like a lunatic, he will not refer me to DYFS. Whereas, I reserve the mute button for acquaintances and complete strangers who may or may not refer me to the Department of Youth and Family Services. This is completely dependent upon whether or not they have children themselves.
Husband: "You were telling me about the milk."
Me: "Oh, yeah, and I was able to get some more bread and freeze the last...hold on a minute, I'm sorry...WHAT PART OF YOU THOUGHT JUMPING OFF THE COFFEE TABLE ONTO YOUR BROTHER WAS A GOOD IDEA???? GO SIT IN TIME...YES, YOU LOST THE WII FOR 3 DAYS...WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU JUMPED ON YOUR BROTHER'S HEAD...I SAID NOW!...few loaves for next week.
Husband: "Umm, you sound kind of busy, I better get back to the office."

Yes, everyone, that's right. This is pretty much verbatim the conversations between myself and my "dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." spouse. Remember the days of staying up late and discussing deep political issues, like," should Clinton be impeached?" Or did you hear the latest version of Eddie Vedder's cover of "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay?" while wearing tie-dye shirts and hanging out on the back deck of our college apartments. We were young, ready to conquer the world, take on "the Man."

Well, we are definitely taking on "the men," they are just a much different version of what I envisioned while staying up late and talking to "my man." However, I love every minute of it... well, maybe not every minute, but most of them:)